This poem has been drawn from the August issue of the American Reader. The American Reader is available in our Shoppe, as well as in independent bookstores and Barnes and Nobles nationwide.
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[applause] people are playing some volleyball near barbecue pits
just ran through clouds of smoke rising from the pits smelled of meat [wind]
bodies roast in sun a mom and her child sit on a beachtowel
in the shade one guy takes practice swings with wooden bats [rustling
grass] looks like he’s hitting flyballs for a friend oh there
seem to be two guys in the outfield squinting I see tiny golden discs
of light before my face I wish I were jogging shirtless but
I need somewhere to clip the mic “let’s hold em defense OOPS I GO”
[kick] “have a nice day” a stray soccerball rolled toward me all the
different players wear different soccer jerseys a variety of stripes and colors
it’s great to see folks using the public space here this evening
I still have yet to adjust to North American life I can’t say exactly when
the sun sets these days I know in Berlin you’ll get daylight until 9:30
or so but here there may very well be just an hour hour-and-a-half of daylight
remaining though the sky is blue I see puffy mountainous clouds
in the distance a gull its wings tipped black gigantic trees I can’t name
reflective pond [voices] groups of friends play sports I see soccer and
volleyball badminton baseball frisbee maybe lying in the sun could be
considered a sport brother and sister play catch neither of whom
using gloves that’s actually mom and son four friends on a towel wear
sunglasses nobody speaks other people bring big sandwiches “good dog hi
what a good puppy what sort of dog is he” “a papillon” “is that right
until recently I’d confused them with long-haired chihuahuas” “yeah they
look alike” “though this dog certainly doesn’t look like a chihuahua I’ve
seen smaller papillons is it” “yes a” “a French dog you three have
a pleasant afternoon evening rather” [breathing] soft dog here I see wiffleball
one group reads bestsellers I’ll always space when I see people holding best-
sellers it would be nice to live in a society where people read good
books since well I don’t need to complete that thought an abandoned traffic cone
it must’ve marked some boundary or goal earlier in the day but now it
lacks significance I love the terrain here in Long Meadow how you find slopes
[spitting] sometimes I’ll sprint the grassy hills and imagine myself
in The Rockies “hello” a girl stepping out a wagon running to meet her
friend wearing pink pants that say Sweet Princess 2009 under this oak
a man sleeps across coolers exhausted from today’s heat another girl
snores on her dad’s back and a woman in black shirt and hood throws
football “hello” it’s nice to greet my neighbors my temporary neighbors
I’ll be in New York two more weeks though I feel I’m here even when I’m
not here it’s less a place than an attitude toward life commitment to
public life and good feeling you could say “nice kick” a triangular kite
is superimposed on those mountainous clouds which don’t seem to be moving
at this particular hill I see [zipping] tiny white weeds [intensified zipping]
and someone chases a balloon out of which air has been let it releases
a zipping sound as it flies oh here’s some authentic cricket
it’s not every day I see this I don’t know the rules for cricket [radio]
“hello” [breathing] I don’t even know if it’s proper to say “let’s go batter” or
“hold em pitcher” I’m not sure how positions get referred to in cricket
far in the distance besides families carrying bottles and high-tech baby-
carriages and a guy who resembles my fourth-grade friend Keith Steckler
I can discern a chunky corgi who I’m sure will pass out in his dish once he
returns home [spitting] now I’ll turn around and run back toward the
other side of Long Meadow I could repeat this trip endlessly here’s a little
pomeranian “hi” [tongue clicks] “a very playful dog” [tongue clicks] “is
he friendly” “we think so kind of” “kind of ” “he’s in a biting” “oh he’s a
playful little dog what do you call him” “Buddy” “Buddy hi Buddy”
“Buddy Buddy Bud-dy” “does Buddy need any water I have water
down the” “no we have” “field oh there’s a dish for him” [tongue clicks]
“oh I’m sorry I don’t mean to make him nervous” “careful” “hi Buddy” “he
always does that” [tinkling tags] “is that right is he scared of me
I don’t” “he’s scared of everyone” “oh ok but he is scared right now he’s not
just playing how old is Buddy” “five months” “does he like heat or no” “the
heat” “the heat does he like summer or” “yeah so far” “does he
take long walks through the streets” “he’s a very good guider”
“good dog” [tinkling tags] “well maybe next summer I’ll meet Buddy”
“alright” “see you” “right” [wind] “hello” “were you trying to touch”
“yeah it’s impossible” “I know” “we need to exercise patience and
wait till next year” “yeah” “I’ll see you I’m going to try to forget about
Buddy he’s a soft boy see you” [wind] it looks like that Chinese girl
tried meeting Buddy as well I can only imagine how it would’ve felt to
bury my left hand in his fur my right holds this walkman
“I GO” [kick] “first time I’ve kicked a soccer ball in a while” “glad I
could do you the favor” “thank you” I love retrieving stray balls Kierkegaard
longed to be useful he didn’t feel all that useful in his room thinking
about Christianity and would walk the streets wanting to open doors
[voices] and I feel splendid returning balls to groups of friends or
bounded fields plus it gives me opportunity to practice kicking and throwing
though yesterday I threw a ball probably no more than ten feet and my shoulder
aches [applause] look at this another soccer game I missed it my
way down the field the first time see this is why I retrace steps here
strictly speaking I’m not retracing steps I’m not caught in some vicious
monotonous circle “I GO” [wind] once again an opportunity to retrieve
a ball “thank you man” “hey my pleasure” a bright blue soccerball more
midnight blue I’m trying to pull shirtsleeves over my shoulders air
on my body would increase lucidity I can’t comprehend how it would feel
to be barefoot the lucidity that would come from cool summer air
crossing my feet I’d jog barefoot in the north shore of Massachusetts
taking a train to Manchester by the Sea I loved those days I’d always find it
difficult to say goodnight to my “I GO” [kick] “my pleasure” a
ruby-colored soccerball and now I see people playing I’ve forgotten
the name of this game “what is this sport called I forgot”
“croquet” “croquet that’s right thank you” he’s using a mallet if
that’s what it’s called to hammer down one of the well it’s best for me not
to even talk about that game because I don’t know the language [wind]
someday I’ll have to come here and just sit in the sun though I don’t
always like the person I become when absorbing lots of sunlight far too lustful
“LET’S LOOK ALIVE CENTER YOU GOT IT” there’s actually a baseball
game with full teams if you can believe it [breathing] “look alive second” [bat
striking ball] “OH YOU GOT IT SECOND” alright he caught the ball and
stepped on not a base since they have no bases but the spot where the base
would be put had they brought them to Long Meadow [bat striking ball] “FOUL”
I enjoy serving as temporary umpire for these games I’ll jog through
yesterday I called balls and strikes [nose blow] it’s nice to see a
baseball hit way up in the blue [far-off applause] and to watch people focus
on it and retrieve it and throw it back to where it came from [wind]
my feet rustle thick grass as I jog toward Long Meadow’s northern end
“here you go” “thanks” “my pleasure” [breathing] handsome couple the
woman lying with her leg over the guy’s I felt the heat or I could imagine
a sweaty leg resting on mine and enjoying that sensation “good dog hi
a dachshund yeah” “yeah” “are there I’m sorry to interrupt are there places
for dogs to swim in Prospect Park” “yes right over there like literally”
“ok that’s good to know I was in Berlin this summer and saw dachshunds swim
for the first time in my life” “she was swimming about ten minutes ago” “you’re
kidding” “no” “I only bring it up because she seems to have come from
a swim her fur has certain I can’t describe it I guess it’s still damp but”
“sure” “she her fur is matted down” “right” “just as our hair gets matted
after a day at the beach for how long does she swim before tiring”
“oh she doesn’t swim I made her swim” “did you throw her in the water”
“I didn’t throw” “I’ve seen that before I’ve seen owners throw their dogs” “I
wouldn’t throw her” “ok” “she wouldn’t like it” “and why did you think it a good
idea for her to swim today” “I just wanted her to experience it she’d
never been in the water I wanted to see how she responds” “well it’s
a pleasure talking” “alright have a good day” “bye bye do you think
she’ll step in the water next time of her own accord” “I don’t think so”
“it was semi-traumatic” “I think perhaps” “did she sprint onto the bank”
“she did” “did she really well she seems perfectly adjusted in the grass”
“yeah she does” “yeah I never would’ve guessed she had a traumatic experience
earlier in the day take care” “alright bye” [breathing] nice talking with
a neighbor I think she saw the mic on my collar but was “hello”
still happy to talk “I go there you oh OH I’M SORRY I didn’t mean
to throw it over your head” retrieved a volleyball with my left hand
and I’m not used to throwing left-handed so I put too much into that toss
it sailed past a woman’s head but was soon retrieved and in fact the distance
between her and the ball was less than what it would’ve been had I not run by
which means I think I helped now I’m in a quiet cove “I GO” [wind] I
was in the cove but decided to retrieve [kick] this soccer ball instead
I still have to retrieve because my kick was insufficient “here you
go” [wind] this cove is where quiet souls dwell
I see couples in love though maybe some are in difficult stages and need
quiet to sort through difficulties real or imagined [spitting] I see logs
turned into benches and from the forest I can hear the evening’s first cricket
I’ll step in these woods it’s faint [silence] “hello” a good-looking
pair plays cards on flannel blankets they looked over and smiled and
nodded and that’s what I’m talking about the good feeling which pervades this
city I’ve lived in a number of cities and I don’t mean to sound sentimental
but if I could have a life in New York I’d be grateful although I don’t always feel
much in common “oh hello” “what’s up” “hello that’s right let’s go defense
you got em” it’s a lovely volleyball game right here the slappy style
of volleyball I personally enjoy I’ll stand and watch a moment [Mexican
guitar music] “NI NICE PLAY” my voice cracked because I was
so happy well you know people have said that art directors
are replacing artists and music producers are replacing musicians [voices]
but still I find pleasure in this density of perception “hi just talking
talking to my friend thank you” a little girl was totally baffled by the fact
I’m speaking to apparently nobody and seems reassured by the remark I’m talking
to a friend she’s wearing an orange shirt has braids “hello” “hey what’s up bro”
“going for a run” “I can see that” and it’s nice too when greeting somebody
even if you don’t know them you say man or bro or I’m not sure what I’d call
a woman but I can say hi and not be considered insane or trying to pick
her up [voices] I’ve sweated through this shirt [silence] today I spoke with
Brian about my final memory of Berlin and it was the sun
at a Weissensee train-station illuminating Anna’s skin there were countless
tiny golden hairs around her neck and shoulders and now I see a dog with its
hairs lit up I’m close to Buddy once again we’ll see if he’s more relaxed and
comes over to me this time a guy drags a kite lots of string unraveled
this was the triangular kite against the clouds earlier which have
since moved on “I GO” [wind] a baseball sailed over “here you are”
a young dad’s head his son pitches to him I threw the ball back to the boy
but he didn’t catch it he seems pretty uncoordinated I have to say though I
think I’d rather be an uncoordinated kid in New York who at least knows the name
Gauguin or the name Baudelaire for example than oh I just tried
lunging for this frisbee “OH THIS IS FOR BUDDY HERE YOU GO BUDDY
OOPS OH OH SORRY” Buddy’s now off-leash and his frisbee flew toward
me “look at Buddy I think he wants to play I love the sound of his collar
well you six have a nice night including Buddy” [wind] “wow good kick
I GO I’ll get it” a soccerball was kicked rather hard at the goalie who
stands between two trees and that’s funny as I kicked the ball back
it hit a juice bottle and sent the bottle into the air
Recorded August 2009
Transcribed May 2013