Dear Brother,
You have asked about my whereabouts since our last conversation. There is no need to fear; I have been exploring the many coffee shops of Brooklyn. My work has not suffered, for I feel as comfortable writing in these creative havens as I do in my own home! As you know, I tend to jump up on my chair and shout “Eureka!” whenever I pen the perfect idea. When other writers in the shop reprimand me for my enthusiasm, I respond as I always do:
“Ah, but my older brother, the established Editor at Penguin Books, believes an author’s eccentricities only add to his or her prose!”
The writers were so impressed by my quickness that they apologized and bought me coffee and scones. Ah, Brooklyn, where doth the free spirit dwell if not in your coffee shops!
Anyhow, as I leave these shops, my new friends often hand me off a parting manuscript or two so that I might share my insights. They say “Maybe you, or your brother, wouldn’t mind looking at this!” It’s cute, is it not? They are embarrassed and humbled by my expertise so they use YOUR name to make their deference less apparent. Anyhow, here are the titles of a few works that might skyrocket your career in the near future.
Frankly, I Miss You: A Memoir by Letharge Pinksy
The Functions of a Kiss: A Novel By Tawdry Philips
Where the Ambrosia Doth Drip: A collection of Short Stories By J. Herington Myles
Maureen, Your Last Letter Left Me Wondering…: a novel by Lucy Lyle
Waxing Poetic: the Interviews of Virginia Wax by the Virginia Wax Group
Each According to His Knead: Bread Photography Vol. 1 1960-1964 edited by Ergent Iffles
DemoCRAZY: Why can’t politics be silly like me? By Snyder “Sgt. Goof” Stax
Skateboarding, Skateboarding and Skateboarding: What I Like To Do by Skip “Buzz” Kraft
Did I Say Something Wrong? and Other “Duh”-Worthy Questions in the Modern American Relationship by Shanell Overtree
I Am Not Winking. I Am Not Winking: A Novel by Berthley Jibe
‘Pologize For Punnin? Don’t Make Me Puke!: Living with No Regrets by Former Speaker of the House Chester J. Cunningham
Again, the Orcs Relent: Volume II of the Berth-Gultta Frock Trilogy by R.R. Arevar
Did Anybody Actually Kill Kennedy?: An Investigation by Lillian Shwartz
Does Anybody Actually Kill Anybody?: An Argument By Topher Shwartz
Is Death Real?: The Center-Leftist Perspective by Adam Shwartz-Jespin
Don’t Die: An Open Letter to Mankind by Kindle Jespin
Would You Stop? Would You Just Stop It Already?: How To Really Talk to Your Kids By Isaiah Shwartz and Miranda Jespin Ph.D.
Sniffle Kings: A Novel by McCoy Tanner
I look forward to sending you summaries of titles that interest you. Some of these authors may help us save the publishing industry.
Simply,
Tim