18 October (1916): Franz Kafka to Felice Bauer

Franz Kafka originally proposed to Felice Bauer in a letter in 1913—however, they broke it off just weeks afterwards. A few years later, they would become engaged again. This letter is from their second engagement. In the letter below, Kafka sees a mail van set ablaze, and worries that one of Felice’s love letters has perished in the flames. Months later, Kafka would again end their engagement.

To Felice Bauer:

Prague
October 18th, 1916

 

Dearest, my poor excess-postage payer, forgive me, but I am almost entirely innocent, of which I could easily convince you with a very detailed description, but from this you will surely excuse me; even Max, the post office official, has so far sent nothing but these postcards. Your Saturday letter arrived today, later in the day Monday’s. The letter was very comforting. Yesterday the mail van carrying the afternoon’s Berlin mail blazed out, and today I went around all morning very pensive and in a haze, continually worrying about the burned-out van in which it is highly probably that your Monday letter with your description of the outing perished in the flames. Only later did your letter arrive; so it wasn’t burned after all.—Max cannot get a permit to go to Munich. During the first part of the evening, which may take place after all, I may be reading some of his poetry. Am not very good, in fact a very bad reader of poetry, but if no one better can be found, I shall be glad to do it. But I must say at once: If you cannot come, I would prefer not to go either. By now I have got used to the idea of seeing you there. No doubt after October 22nd, by which date you chief will have returned from his vacation, you will know for certain whether or not the trip is likely to be possible.

 

Franz

 

From Letters to Felice. Edited by Erich Heller and Jürgen Born. Translated by James Stern and Elisabeth Duckworth. New York: Schocken Books, 1973. 592 pp.