12 April (1932): Ernest Hemingway to John Dos Passos

In the letter below, Hemingway writes to John Dos Passos, telling him, first, that Dos Passos need not accept any literary advice, before diving into the secession brewing in Key West, and playfully offering his own plans for revolution, which involve butchering “free thinkers, atheists, communists,” “protestants,” and “members of the lighthouse service.”

Dear Dos: 

I send a couple of collections of mail, registered to you care of American ExpressCo. Mexico DF.and a long letter. Poop on any literary advice in my letter. Christ knows you need advice less than anybody in country (or city). But where I was drooling off about not to make any too noble character in the 3rd wolumne [sic] for god’s sake don’t think I was referring to Ben Compton. That is the best narrative in the book to me. Damned wonderful fine story. You don’t need any advice. 

What about the angel of death? Couldn’t the angel of death visit Ward Moorehouse or some of those drawing room bitches? 

Esther Andrews got me to write you to Mexico D.F. that Jack (Howard) Lawson had left the Coast. This was dementi-ed [contradicted] shortly after by Mrs. Chambers. 

[Canby] Chambers himself in pretty good shape. I tell him my theory is that his paralysis is all a hoax and that you are in the pay of the capitalists. Dos Passos the Lone Wolf of Wall Street. 

Listen, Woolf, [sic] write us how you are. You sounded, by postcard, as though it were a bloody fine trip. 

[…] 

Will send this to Brandt Brandt and Brandt. Brandt Brandt Brandt the Van Dorens are coming. Cheer up Isabel Patterson you can’t come and beneath the Bunny Wilson we shall never meet again in the freedom of our old Kentucky Home. 

Glenway Wescott, this is no kidding, is issuing a Call To Action. He feels things are in A BAD WAY. To be published in May [Fear and Trembling].

It may be well if the South Western Island Republic secedes from the Union at once. I have organized cutting the cables, blowing up Bahia Honda viaduct, burning bridges, destroying all buoys and lighthouses and the seizing of enough tramp steamers to feed the ungry [sic] populace. We will be a free port, set up gigantic liquor warehouses and be the most PROSPEROUS ISLAND IN THE WORLD. The PARIS OF THE SOUTH WEST. Sully [J.B. Sullivan] is building a guillotine in his boiler making establishment. Am at work on a project to re-enslave the jigs overnight and am fixing accommodations in the car ferries to run chinamen. Charles [Thompson] guarantees every comrade enough rope to hang himself. 

Let us hear from you. The Coup d’etat is planned for the next day after the navy and marines go. On the first night we massacre the catholics and the jews. The second the protestants who have been lulled into a false sense of security by the events of the first evening. The third night we butcher the free thinkers, atheists, communists, and members of the lighthouse service. The fourth day we fish the gulf and capture another ship to feed our faithful jigs. That evening we knock off a few counter revolutionaries and if things aren’t going well we burn the town. The fifth and sixth days are free and members of the party can amuse themselves as they like. On the Seventh day we elect Butstein the Goddess of Reason and order Mac Leish to write an Epic Poem about the Movement. Late that evening we shoot Macleish as his poem has turned out Lousy and send for Evan Shipman. You can see how it will be. Just one gay hilarious round with everyone busy and happy. At the end of twelve days we raise wages to beat hell and massacre the poles. 

Let me hear if you are with us 

Love from Pauline, 

Ernest Hemingway